Understanding Low Libido: It’s Not Just About Hormones

At Benton Integrative Medicine, many women come to us worried about low libido. If that’s you, please know you are not alone. Sexual desire is influenced by so many things: hormones, stress, responsibilities, environmental toxins, relationships, and even the cultural messages we’ve absorbed. Add in the unrealistic portrayals of women in Hollywood and porn, and it’s no wonder so many of us feel like something’s “off.” But here’s the truth: you are not broken. Women are complex beings, and your libido is just one piece of a much bigger whole.

The Basics of Feeling Sexy

For women to feel desire, certain foundations need to be in place:

• Rest & downtime: Sleep isn’t optional. It’s fuel. Without it, desire takes a back seat.

• Safety: Emotional and physical safety are essential.

• Nutrition: Food that supports your health supports your hormones too.

• Connection: Being loved, appreciated, and truly seen by your partner matters.

• Environment: Your “set and setting” influence intimacy. A calm, welcoming space sets the tone better than a cluttered bedroom with the evening news blaring.

If you’re overworked, under-slept, or unappreciated, intimacy will naturally feel like one more “to-do.” Start with small shifts: go to bed earlier, ask for help, lean on friends. (Wouldn’t it be nice if we still had that village of babysitters from our childhood days?)

Relationships Matter

Libido doesn’t live in a vacuum. If your partner isn’t tuned into your needs or your love language, desire can feel out of reach. That’s why I often recommend ongoing marriage therapy even in happy relationships. It creates a safe space to address the little hurts and misunderstandings before they grow. And let’s be clear: real love never feels unsafe. If your body is telling you something feels wrong, listen to it.

Child’s Play all day!

Sometimes the best medicine for low desire is rediscovering fun. Fix your hair, put on an outfit you love, dance in the kitchen, or plan a playful date night. Remember why you started dating in the first place! My husband and I still act like teenagers sometimes because joy, laughter, and play bring intimacy back to life.

Self-Care Is Not Selfish

Many women, especially moms, give so much of themselves that they run on empty. Here’s your reminder: saying no to yet another committee, PTA meeting, or volunteer role doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you healthy. You are already worth. Your value isn’t tied to how much you give. Loving yourself first is the foundation for everything else.  Put your own oxygen mask on first as they say in airplanes for emergencies.  You are less effective if you don’t care for yourself!

Detox Your World

Your environment can quietly influence hormones. Plastics, pesticides, mold, and even coffee cup liners contain xenoestrogens that disrupt hormone balance. Greening your home and your habits is powerful, and we guide our patients through this process at Benton Integrative.

Food Is Medicine

Nutrition plays a central role in hormone health. Sugar and processed foods drive inflammation, which affects your gut, liver, and hormone metabolism. Instead of “just taking hormones,” healing often begins with food, gut repair, and detoxification.

Libido Is a Spectrum

Every woman experiences desire differently. Some are ready quickly, others need more warm-up, and preferences for clitoral vs. cervical stimulation vary. None of this is “wrong.” In fact, shifting focus from “performance” and orgasms to connection, play, and pleasure often leads to more satisfying intimacy. If you’re struggling, a sex therapist or coach can help you explore safely and without judgment.

Yes, Hormones Can Play a Role

Sometimes low libido is related to hormones. We can run bloodwork or use advanced testing like DUTCH (a comprehensive urine test) to look at hormones, cortisol, neurotransmitters, and more. But often, hormones are just one piece of the puzzle not the whole story.

You’re Not Alone

Low libido is common, but it is not inevitable. At Benton Integrative Medicine, we help women address the whole picture: stress, relationships, environment, nutrition, and hormones. You deserve to feel vibrant, connected, and fully alive.

Contact us at Benton Integrative Medicine 704-775-6029 to help you get answers to your low libido.

Much love and peace,

Dr. Benton